His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
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I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
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You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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