Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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