Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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