she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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