I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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