I am in a vortex of obligation.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
