There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
