I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize