How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
