God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
