K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
