I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
