Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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