That's intense
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
