that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
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Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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