It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
