I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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