i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
