it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
