I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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