Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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