i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
