I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
