I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
