She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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