dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
