I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
