sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
