i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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