Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He passed out mid-signature
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
