No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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