We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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