for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize