omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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