If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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