Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
