I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
