rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Randomize
