He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
