he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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