i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
