Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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