Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
