I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
