Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
