Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
