Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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