How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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