You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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