so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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