is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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