the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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