R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
