the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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