i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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