yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
