Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
